Cold Cold Sea Read online

  Jennifer stared out of the window. She could see why Thea loved her home. Long Farm Wood started just the other side of the lane; trees stretched for miles down towards the ocean, oaks and sycamores as far as the eye could see. They weren’t quite in the sticks because if you stood out in the lane and looked downhill you could see the last few houses of Trevaren in the distance. But few people except the occupants of this cottage and its distant neighbour ever came up here, so it was ideal for her and Hailey. They’d been here four days now and Jennifer was beginning to get used to country life with her daughter.

  And that was the important thing. They were together. The fact that the child was behaving so strangely could be put right. It was possibly just nerves, or drowsiness from the pills, but Hailey hadn’t given the correct answer to a single one of the questions Jennifer had put to her so far. It was infuriating.

  Jennifer took a deep breath. Sometimes she didn’t know what was happening to herself, never mind Hailey, and the feeling of helplessness frightened her. She needed more order in her life, that would be it. The doctor in that place had said that a set routine was important. Well, when they moved to Polpayne she would make sure her days had all the structure she needed. Everything would be fine as soon as they got there. Jennifer hugged herself. She would cope. She was a mother.

  Mind you, children came with their own problems, as Hailey’s behaviour proved more and more every day. Getting her to eat was incredibly difficult. Jennifer sighed. It was a pity she had to drug Hailey during the day too, but she couldn’t stay here babysitting all the time. She had to talk to the workmen about the house in Polpayne, and yesterday she’d gone to the supermarket to get supplies. But then Hailey hadn’t touched the soup Jennifer had bought for her, even though minestrone had always been her favourite. In fact the only thing the child had eaten these past few days was yoghurt, and that was only because Jennifer had spooned it into her mouth when she was half asleep.

  They couldn’t go on like this, and there was no reason for Hailey to be so moody and uncooperative. Maybe a little plain speaking would do some good. It was time things returned to normal. Jennifer ran upstairs, cradling her bump.

  The child’s eyes were half open, and Jennifer bent over the bed.

  ‘Hailey? It’s time for your shower.’

  She pulled Hailey’s arm as she spoke, and to her relief the little girl allowed herself to be led along to the bathroom. Jennifer pushed the unresisting little body under the shower and lathered it generously. Goodness, she’d never noticed that little mole on Hailey’s shoulder, when had that come? She rinsed the last of the soap from Hailey’s hair and turned the water off.

  Smiling happily, Jennifer wrapped one of Thea’s bath towels round Hailey and hugged the child fiercely. She had her three children close to her heart and at last Hailey smelled like their own girl again.

  Now for that hair, it was far too long now. Hailey had looked much prettier with shoulder-length hair and it was easier to keep, too. So shoulder-length it would be. Jennifer sat the child on the bathroom stool, combed out the section of hair closest to Hailey’s scalp, and lifted the scissors.

  The little girl was slouched on the stool, a blank expression on her face, but the first snip made her jerk upright, eyes wide open.

  Jennifer inhaled sharply and prodded Hailey’s shoulder with the pointed end of the scissors.

  ‘I’ll cut your ear off if you do that again,’ she said. ‘Here, you can hold the plastic bag.’

  It didn’t take long, the soft brown hair was easy to cut. Lock after lock landed in the bag and Jennifer frowned. It looked very brown today, dirty, almost. They would need to do something about that. Hailey had to look her usual pretty little self when they went to live in Polpayne. Jennifer tied the bag shut and thrust it into the bin.

  ‘Excellent. Now for some breakfast,’ she said, propelling the child into the kitchen. ‘You sit there and Mummy will sit right beside you. Look, toast and honey. You like that, don’t you, Hailey?’

  The little girl looked at her bleakly and began to eat. Jennifer relaxed, watching as a piece of toast and a glass of milk disappeared down Hailey’s throat. Well, that was one thing sorted.

  And yet - Jennifer frowned as the child finished her milk. Why was Hailey’s hair more brown now? Before the Black Patch her hair had been a lovely mid-brown colour with golden reflections. Now it was a muddy dark brown, and the gold lights were missing entirely. Maybe a different shampoo would help, she could go to the chemist today.

  Jennifer stared at Hailey. She had to go to Polpayne this morning, to check the new kitchen with the head of the interior design company that was renovating the house for her. Should she take Hailey with her? Show her the new house? That would be fun, wouldn’t it? Hailey would like that. But on the other hand, the child was so silent. It was almost as if she’d forgotten how to speak. How embarrassing it would be if someone spoke to Hailey and she didn’t reply, or gave the wrong reply. It might be better to practise a whole lot of questions and answers before she took Hailey out among people again.

  Jennifer reached for the pills.

  Chapter Three

  End of August

  Jennifer watched as the child sat at the table, head bent over her drawing book. She was making heavy weather of it and Jennifer bit her lip. Surely Hailey used to be better at colouring in? Still, at least the hair situation was improving. That spray she’d bought at the chemist was working at last, the highlights it was producing looked just like Hailey’s hair had always looked. Sun-kissed. She was using lemon juice too on the days in between, that made the hair very dry but it smelled better than the spray.

  Jennifer clasped her hands under her chin and stared at Hailey. The tiny worm of doubt that had plagued her at the start of their stay here was almost – but not quite – gone. That lost girl had drowned, they’d said so on the news last night. The search was over. So this was her Hailey, but the very fact that she’d had doubts at all was unsettling. Was she going mad? She certainly felt different, here with her daughter, but it didn’t feel like madness. Still, the Black Patch had frightened her. Was she ill again?

  A new idea slid into Jennifer’s mind like warm, bright sunshine: Of course, how silly she was not to have realised - she was better now that she was here with Hailey. She was back to normal again, so much so that Phillip had stayed in the States to be with Gran, and she was even pregnant so that just proved she was completely alright. Jennifer smiled in relief.

  Hailey lifted sombre eyes and stared at her. Dear Lord. Had the child’s eyes always been so dark?

  Jennifer swallowed painfully. She was thinking thoughts that couldn’t ever be put into words. This was her daughter, but she wasn’t going to find confirmation in her own head, that was clear. But maybe there was another way to make sure. She would take Hailey to the doctor. They needed a medical certificate for school, and the doctor would know if this was Hailey. And of course it would be, she was being silly here. It was just after the Black Patch and the medication and - she needed a little reassurance, that was all.

  Jennifer leaned forward, feeling the babies squirm inside her.

  ‘Who am I, Hailey?’

  The child stared, then quickly smiled, just as they’d practised.

  ‘Hailey, what have we said about replying immediately when people speak to you? Again, please. Who am I, Hailey?’

  ‘You’re my mum?’

  Happiness spread through Jennifer and she kissed the child’s head.

  ‘Very good. But say ‘Mummy’, Hailey, it’s so much nicer. One more time. Who am I?’

  ‘My mummy.’

  The child ducked her head and reached for a red felt tip.

  ‘Excellent. Now, Hailey, pack your things away for today. We’ll have lunch now and this afternoon we’re going out in the car. That’ll be nice, won’t it? We’re going to Polpayne to see the house, then we’ll pop into the doctor’s, and if you’re good I’ll show you your new school too. You start in
two weeks.’

  The child rose to her feet immediately and began to stuff felt-tips into their box. Jennifer nodded, satisfied. Actually, Hailey had made real progress this past week or so. They had developed a nice little routine. Breakfast, then lessons. Hailey knew all about answering questions with a happy smile now, and she knew her name, her date of birth, and what her favourite food and activities were. After the lessons came lunch and a magic pill for Hailey who then slept while Jennifer was out doing whatever needed doing that day. Then it was dinner, more lessons or a nice game, another magic pill and off to bed.

  Jennifer placed a slice of quiche in front of Hailey and smiled as the little girl started to eat. Knife and fork skills were coming along very nicely too. Yes, she was completely satisfied with Hailey. And of course the doctor would be too.

  What a lovely home she had created, thought Jennifer, gazing complacently round the elegant blue and white living room. The designers had done an excellent job, and their own possessions had arrived from Truro yesterday so the house was ready for occupation. It would be a real haven for them all. A family home.

  ‘We’ll move in here tomorrow,’ she said, and Hailey nodded, smiling happily as usual.

  Jennifer beamed triumphantly. With a whole new wardrobe to fill, she could buy lots of beautiful clothes for Hailey. She’d bought the child a few necessities already, of course, but now that Hailey could come too and try things on they would have much more fun. There was a children’s boutique in Bodmin, they would go in on the way back to Thea’s. What a lovely afternoon they were having, she and her daughter. Jennifer lifted the school prospectus from the coffee table and handed it to Hailey.

  ‘Look, your new school. We’ll drive past later, but first we’ll go and see about your medical. Then if you’re good we’ll buy you a beautiful dress, maybe even two or three. And if you’re not good, you know what’ll happen.’

  Hailey blanched, then smiled up at her, and Jennifer raised her eyebrows.

  ‘Thank you Mummy.’

  It would do. Hailey had to know how to behave amongst strangers, of course, but it was the child’s first outing, and she was being very cooperative. So of course this was Hailey.

  The medical centre was quiet, and Jennifer led Hailey up to the desk, where a middle-aged woman was tapping away at a keyboard.

  ‘Good afternoon. We’ve just moved to the area. I want to register and make an appointment for my daughter to have a medical. She needs a certificate for starting school.’

  ‘No problem,’ said the receptionist, sliding a form across to Jennifer. ‘If you’d just fill this in. Hello, lovey. What school are you going to?’

  The answer came promptly with a beautiful smile. ‘Polpayne Castle Primary.’

  ‘Lovely. I hear they have a super new gym hall now. Right, Mrs ah, Marshall... ’

  Jennifer held her breath as the woman skimmed over what she’d written.

  ‘That seems fine. Oh, you’ve missed this one. Who was Hailey’s GP at your last place?’

  Hot confusion swept over Jennifer. Who was Hailey’s doctor?

  ‘Goodness, it’s such a long time since she’s been to the doctor. I don’t think she was even registered with one in Truro and before that it was Torquay... yes, it was Dr McKenna in Torquay. I think.’

  The woman stared. ‘Right. I’ll just get in touch with them for her records. Excuse me.’

  She went into a room and closed the door, and Jennifer felt sweat gather on her brow. She glared at Hailey, who was jiggling around beside her.

  ‘Do you need to go to the bathroom? Over there, look. Be quick, please.’

  What was the woman doing? Why had she gone away like that?

  Forcing herself to breathe calmly, Jennifer waited. Hailey returned before the woman and stood motionless beside Jennifer, who was beginning to feel sick. She massaged her bump, feeling the babies kick.

  ‘Right, Mrs Marshall. I’ve just called Dr McKenna’s practise and Hailey is still registered there. Are you quite sure she hasn’t seen a doctor since the last time she was there? She should have had a couple of jabs since then.’

  Jennifer relaxed. She’d been right. ‘We’ve been travelling a lot,’ she said loftily. ‘I thought before starting school would be time enough.’

  The woman shrugged, then turned to the screen and manipulated the mouse. ‘When would you like to bring Hailey in?’

  The world had never seemed so bright when Jennifer ushered Hailey out of the medical centre. Everything, just everything was alright now. She beamed round the car park. Bright sunshine was positively bouncing off the cars and even the blackbirds were shining. For a moment it was quite dazzling.

  Hailey stumbled as they crossed the car park and Jennifer caught her, hugging the child tightly. This was all she needed, right here. Her little girl and her babies. What a dreadful pity Phillip wasn’t with them on this wonderful day. Eyes shut tightly against the brightness, Jennifer rocked back and forth with Hailey in her arms.

  When she opened her eyes again the world had gone back to normal hues and Hailey was pale.

  ‘Goodness, darling, you look as if you need a treat. Let’s go and look at your new school and then go shopping.’

  The beautiful feeling of elation lasted all the way along the coast road and up the private road to show Hailey the school buildings. It was lucky there had been a vacancy, even at such short notice. A prolonged shopping spree in ‘Bambinos’ in Bodmin further increased Jennifer’s sense of well-being, and back at Long Farm Cottage she made spaghetti for dinner as a treat. Hailey ate hungrily, her normally pale little cheeks now rosy. What a darling she was.

  Jennifer leaned across the table. It was time for Hailey to be a proper daughter. The pills made her so sleepy, they really couldn’t have that when school started.

  ‘Now Hailey, you know you’ve been ill. You had an allergy, I think. Yes. But you’re better now. You don’t need pills to sleep at night any more. Is that clear?’

  The child smiled promptly.

  ‘Yes Mummy.’

  Jennifer smiled back. Everything was going perfectly.

  Chapter Four

  Mid September

  Katie McLure extracted fifteen brightly-coloured cardboard folders from the staffroom cupboard and took a deep breath. New term, new class, and after four years of teaching primary five and six she had realised her life’s ambition to be infant mistress. Here at Polpayne Castle Primary, this meant five-year-olds. The ‘pre-school’ section of the school was at the other end of the village, the philosophy being that five years old was time enough to sit at a desk. Katie agreed completely; after all, in most other European countries children didn’t start formal schooling until they were six. Folders under her arm, she strode along the corridor to her new classroom.

  In less than an hour’s time the children would be here, fifteen eager little faces. And today all the elegant yummy mummies would be there for the start too. Heart sinking, Katie stacked the folders on her desk and looked wryly down at her own outfit, which could hardly be described as elegant. She expected to spend quite a lot of the day blowing noses, mopping tears and kneeling on the floor - not the kind of things you wanted to do in a posh frock.

  The first day at school was a big occasion in everyone’s life. As yet the children were only names on a list to Katie. Graeme. Hailey. Julia. Norman. Rich kids. Something she’d never been herself.

  Katie knew that the moment she stepped into the classroom and started to teach, she would forget the nerves and cope with whatever her new class chose to throw at her, but right now, immediately before the event, it was just a little scary. She had wanted this for so long.

  She looked round appreciatively as she started organising chairs for the children’s arrival. Here at Polpayne Castle Primary they had all the private school benefits. The classroom was brilliant - a large L-shaped room with windows all the way down the back. In the middle of the room the ‘school’ area had fifteen desks and chairs set out in three
curves before the whiteboard. The craft table by the door was ideal for handwork; one long, low table they could all sit round. Round the corner was a generous play area, with a large selection of cushions, stools and toys. It was by far the most luxurious classroom Katie had ever taught in, and she knew she was going to enjoy the novelty.

  Chairs organised, she straightened up. A strong coffee was what she needed now and there was plenty of time before the children arrived.

  Jeanette McCallum, the head teacher, was in the staffroom with a tall, blond man.

  ‘Oh Katie, come and meet Mark Gibson. He’s taking over Year Four now that Caroline’s definitely leaving us.’

  Katie shook hands, conscious that Mark Gibson was looking at her. She smiled briefly. After the disaster with Stuart, the last thing she needed right now was an appreciative man ogling her every time she went into the staffroom.

  ‘Welcome,’ she said. ‘It’s a great place to work, isn’t it, Jeanette?’

  ‘It is,’ said the Head. ‘Katie, you’ll have seen there’s another little girl joining your class. Hailey Marshall. Her mother brought her in last week to register. I swear school-beginners get smaller every year. I must be getting old.’

  Katie laughed. She poured coffee and stood chatting to Mark about the school, glad when some of the other teachers arrived. Polite conversation wasn’t easy when your insides were as nervous as hers were. She gave Mark a quick smile and left him with Phyllis, who was talking enthusiastically about the new gym hall. At the moment, all Katie wanted to think about was her new pupils. Would they all get along? Would there be any problems she might not be able to solve? And most importantly, would the children be happy here? She would soon find out.

  Chapter Five

  ‘Breakfast, Hailey! Come along, you don’t want to be late on your first day!’

  Jennifer shouted up the stairs of her new home, then turned back into the kitchen, smiling as she drew her hand over the gleaming work surfaces. She was exactly where she wanted to be in life. A beautiful house, a darling daughter, two lovely babies to look forward to and Phillip coming home. Soon now surely.